is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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