I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
