Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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