i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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