Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize