never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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