This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
