i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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