Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
