I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
