She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize