im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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