so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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