I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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