No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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