A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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