Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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