Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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