so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
