I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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