I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
