I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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