Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
