I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
