Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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