My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Text me some of your sweat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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