just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
