I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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