I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
