pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
