Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
