Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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