Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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