why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
