Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
love makes seman taste better
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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