I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
