she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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