Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
