are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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