Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
