maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Houston, we have a squirter
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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