One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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