Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize