Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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