he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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