Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
