is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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