We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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