I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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