A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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