I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My life is pants optional.
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