everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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