I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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