who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
