My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
