Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
