I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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