I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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