Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
