I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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